Woman wants to divorce husband of 25 years over 'simple' habit - but people agree with her

A woman is considering divorcing her husband over a seemingly “simple” habit she can no longer cope with.

can be rife with ups and downs and, as time goes on, some people find themselves struggling to maintain a connection with their other halves. For one woman, her husband’s apparently innocent tactic during arguments has pushed her to her limit.

Taking to Reddit’s popular , she asked whether she’d be in the wrong to divorce her husband after being with him more than two decades because he “asks too many questions”.

She explained she’s “always thought” their “relationship was great” and any problems they ever had were her fault” because she’s always seen her husband as a “very smart, sweet, generous, and caring man”.

The problems arise whenever they disagree or argue because he is able to always remain “calm and rational” whereas the woman, 42, struggles with this and “finds herself at a loss to argue for or defend her position”.

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This is because her husband asks “a lot of questions - about everything, especially when he doesn’t like something or feels it could have been done better”. She explained: “I think this is really annoying and frustrating. He says he is ‘just trying to understand’, but it often feels like he is trying to get me to understand how ridiculous whatever I did was. This feels belittling. The best way to describe it is he speaks to me like a parent speaking to a child and trying to get them to understand what they did wrong."

She explained her husband often employs this tactic in front of their two sons, who are three and six-years-old, and they’ve not started talking to her in the same way and questioning all her actions.

Other questions he asks include “why didn’t you do that earlier?” and “do you think that is the best thing to be doing right now?” The woman finds it “infuriating” but has “always let it slide” because she “always assumed she was reading into what he says and how he says it too much”.

She also struggles to articulate what her “husband is actually doing to upset” her, describing it as feeling akin to an “interrogation” that leaves her feeling as though she has to “justify everything she does and says”.

She continued: “I have developed anxiety over it. I have anxiety over simple things like grocery shopping - why did I change our brand of soap? Why did I pick that particular soap? Was that the only soap like that? Did you look for other options or just that one? Did I only check Target or did I look anywhere else for our regular brand?"

The comments section supported the woman and accused her husband of bullying her. One person said: “What he is doing is undermining you. He’s making you question every choice you make so you feel no confidence in your ability to do anything right. Now your own children are doubting your ability to function and make decisions. It’s insidious and deliberate.

“You don’t have to engage with these interrogations. You are not answerable to your husband or children. But honestly, he’s been doing this, and enjoying being the superior spouse/parent/adult for a long time. He will not give up his power easily.”

Another advised: “Stop answering. Just say, because I wanted to. Then stare at him. Then laugh and say, aw honey. You can ask all the questions you want but the answer is still the same. ‘Because I wanted to’.”

And another added: “Wow he sounds so annoying! I couldn’t handle that at all. Your anxiety will be a lot less leaving. Def NTA. Just be smart about leaving and talk to a lawyer first. Good luck!”