Pushy sporting parents: How far is too far?

Sport has many famous examples of child prodigies who were pushed by their parents. Golfer Tiger Woods is perhaps the most prominent. But the ongoing trial of Gjert Ingebrigtsen, father of double Olympic middle-distance running champion Jakob, for alleged physical and mental abuse of his son and another one of his children, forces the athletics world to reconsider what it means to safely parent children in sport.

Dr. Bettina Rulofs is a Professor for Diversity Studies in Sport at the German Sport University Cologne. In January, Rulofs co-authored a book titled "Child Abuse in Sport: Critical Perspectives," a topic Rulofs has researched and worked on for many years. The challenge in high performance environments is managing a balance between improving performance and staying safe and healthy. Rulofs believes the environment of elite sport makes that much harder.

"I think we have to be aware that the prevalence of psychological violence in sports in general is very high. We did a European study on the frequency and forms of abuse and violence in sport, and we found that 65% of our respondents indicated to have experienced one form of psychological violence in their sporting career," Rulofs explained about a survey that had more than 10,000 participants across five European countries.

Childhood 'characterized by fear'

"This shows that psychological violations seem to be part of the game in sports. We have to be aware of the situation that sport has a lot to do with the possibility of emotional violations," Rulofs continued. "I just want to make clear that being insulted, threatened, getting shamed or being violated on a psychological basis in the field of sport seems to be something very normal. That's not a positive result of our study, but that's something we have to deal with."

These are the sorts of behaviors that Gjert Ingebrigtsen is being accused of by two of his children, with other siblings backing up their accounts.

"My upbringing was very much characterized by fear ... Everything was controlled and decided for me," said Jakob in court.

His sister, Ingrid, recalled an incident where she claimed Gjert forced her to keep running despite her having forgotten to take her asthma medication.

"I ended up jumping off the treadmill, ran up to my room and breathed," Ingrid told the court. "I tried to calm down. I expressed that I wanted to quit athletics."

There are also accusations of physical abuse, including kicking Jakob and whipping Ingrid in the face with a wet towel. While Gjert has accepted he had been a demanding parent, he denies all the allegations of violence, which could see him face up to six years in jail.

One way to deal with such cases is an effective system for reporting them, particularly non-criminal incidents. But that too remains a challenge in many elite sport environments where conditions that are not safe or healthy have been normalized.

Autonomy at the heart of safety

Parents need to ask questions and make sure that they are active members of the sporting environment their child is in. More than anything though, they should look to give their children the chance to decide.

"I think that a very important question is in how far parents are able to create a situation where children are in the position to take their own decisions and to develop an autonomy-based approach in realizing their own wishes and in developing their own competencies," Rulofs told DW.

In sport, children are somewhat dependent on adults for ways to improve their skills and performance, she added. But the question is how to find a balance in that path towards development that includes the child along the way.

"In our work we try to create safe sport environments," Rulofs said. "We always apply the principle of voice, choice and exit. Athletes need to get possibilities to voice their needs and expectations. Athletes also need to be offered various options so that they can make their own choices. And athletes need to have exit options. But that's a big issue in elite sport because usually when you have invested so much in an elite sports career, your whole family is involved and an exit-option is missing."

Parents a neglected party

In elite sport, the focus is more often than not on athletes and coaches, but parents are a key figure in the shaping of a young person.

"I think that in the discussions and studies dealing with safe sport, parents are kind of neglected," Rulofs said. "Parents, especially when their kids are at minor age and are performing in elite sport, are very, very important actors for creating safe sport environments. We have to include them in all steps of safeguarding."

Together with colleagues at the German Sport University Cologne, Rulofs has done just that by helping create a project called Safe Clubs, which offers specific training and education to adults in sports clubs, and includes an educational tool for parents. After a long period of design, application and evaluation, the hope is that many of the 90,000 sports clubs in Germany will now use the project.

This is perhaps most pressing in the sports that use talent scouting systems, where there is an increased systematic risk that families living on or below the poverty line are exploited by the promises sport provides.

"We know from cases that for example, especially young children with refugee backgrounds, are being selected by talent scouts getting promised a secure home base, offering chances for careers in sport," Rulofs said. "And this is, of course, a situation that can be easily exploited."

Hope through awareness
For all of these concerning cases though, there is hope. Clubs, associations and federations are more proactive in their handling of the subject. There are people employed in organizations specifically to protect the safety of young athletes. Education and access to child safety has improved. Perhaps most importantly though, is that many parts of wider society are more open to the topic.

"It's obvious we always had cases of abuse and violence in sport, but nobody talked about those cases," Rulofs said. "That we nowadays are in a position to talk about this, to raise our voices, make a report and to be listened to, that's very important."

The Ingebrigtsen trial, set to end in mid-May, will likely be impactful well beyond athletics. The hope is that all stakeholders in sports clubs around the world continue to put young people's safety and autonomy at the center of their approach.